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    HUMOR OF THE DAY

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    NZ_Vixon9
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    HUMOR OF THE DAY

    Post  NZ_Vixon9 on Tue Jan 17, 2012 11:32 am

    What did Sushi "A" say to Sushi "B"





    WAZZZZZZAAA......................"B"

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    Re: HUMOR OF THE DAY

    Post  Qiverkill on Tue Jan 17, 2012 12:24 pm

    2 minute noodles

    nek minute

    nek minute

    there ready

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    NZ_Vixon9
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    0 to 200 in 6 seconds

    Post  NZ_Vixon9 on Sun Jan 22, 2012 1:38 am


    Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
    really pissed.

    She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
    driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

    The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
    up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
    gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

    Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
    the box back in the house.

    She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

    Bob has been missing since Friday.[b]
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    Sirocco
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    Re: HUMOR OF THE DAY

    Post  Sirocco on Sun Jan 22, 2012 1:56 am

    Have you seen Stevey Wonders new piano?

    No??

    Neither has he..
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    NZ_Vixon9
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    Re: HUMOR OF THE DAY

    Post  NZ_Vixon9 on Sun Jan 22, 2012 2:01 am

    Why does Stevie Wonder have a Yellow stain on his leg?


    His dog is blind too....
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    Sirocco
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    Re: HUMOR OF THE DAY

    Post  Sirocco on Sun Jan 22, 2012 2:17 am

    What goes
    .....
    Love All
    .....
    Love All
    .....
    Love All
    .....
    Love All
    ????


    Stevey Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis
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    Squizzy326
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    Re: HUMOR OF THE DAY

    Post  Squizzy326 on Sun Jan 22, 2012 6:57 am

    why does stevie wonder smile all the time?

    ANs: he doesnt know he is black..
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    Logzorz
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    Re: HUMOR OF THE DAY

    Post  Logzorz on Sun Jan 22, 2012 9:26 am

    >A Jew, a Black, and a Hispanic walk into a bar.

    They enjoy a night out.

    >Why was 6 afraid of 7

    It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient or tangible and thus incapable of of feeling fear.

    >A guy walks into a bar...

    He has a family of 4 and a drinking problem

    >A horse walks into a bar..

    The bartender escorts it outside and promptly phones the police
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    drzdeano
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    Re: HUMOR OF THE DAY

    Post  drzdeano on Sun Jan 22, 2012 3:19 pm

    buzzkill...
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    Holy_Evangelist
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    Re: HUMOR OF THE DAY

    Post  Holy_Evangelist on Sun Jan 22, 2012 5:13 pm

    LOL Logz keeping it real <3


    _________________
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    Jesus Is the WORD.
    Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. Matthew 10:34

    For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Hebrews 4: 12
    The LORD is with you, Oh mighty man of valour. Judges 6:12

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    Re: HUMOR OF THE DAY

    Post  SoV Admin on Sun Jan 22, 2012 11:42 pm





    1:38

    5:11


    LOL

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    NZ_Vixon9
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    Two Hunters...

    Post  NZ_Vixon9 on Mon Jan 23, 2012 10:23 am

    A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

    The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

    The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“
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    iSenior
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    Re: HUMOR OF THE DAY

    Post  iSenior on Mon Jan 23, 2012 12:25 pm

    what did the jewish pedo say to the kid?

    wanna buy some candy?
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    XiSTNZ
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    Re: HUMOR OF THE DAY

    Post  XiSTNZ on Mon Jan 23, 2012 4:55 pm

    ahgahhahhahaha

    Dracael
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    Re: HUMOR OF THE DAY

    Post  Dracael on Mon Jan 30, 2012 12:54 am

    An aussie goes to NZ for a holiday and while on a peaceful country drive, he notices a local farmer out in a paddock chock-a-block up one of his sheep... Unable to resist, he pulls the car over and yells out to the farmer "Hey!, over in 'sraylia we shear those!!". The farmer, without breaking stride, turns to the tourist and reply's "Well ya not sharin this one, get yr fukkin own!!".
    affraid affraid (Just a good natured ribbing my NZ freinds lol.) Laughing Laughing
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    NZ_Vixon9
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    Re: HUMOR OF THE DAY

    Post  NZ_Vixon9 on Mon Jan 30, 2012 1:24 am

    [b]Kiwi bloke was on earth doing the Haka. Somewhere in space, Aliens were watching this unusual dance.

    "Kamate, kamate, ka-ora, ka-ora......"

    The Aliens were very interested and they wanted to see what would happen if they would take a part of his brain away without him even knowing. So with their alien technology they sent a laser beam down that hit the Kiwi's head and took a part of his brain away.

    The Aliens then sat back to see what would happen.

    "Ka-mate, ka-mate, ka-ora, ka-ora......."

    What the??? The Aliens were amazed with what they were seeing. The Kiwi guy could operate with less than a full brain. So they decided to send the beam down and take another part of his brain. The Aliens watched on.

    "Ka-mate, ka-mate, ka-ora, ka-ora......"

    "WHAT!!!" the Aliens said to each other. "These Kiwis are very clever people even with half a brain. Let's see what happens if we take the rest of it away and leave him with no brain at all!"

    So with a push of a button the Aliens sent the beam down and took away the final part of the Kiwi's brain.

    "Now surely he won't know anything at all.He should be too dumb and stupid to do anything now?"

    And sure enough, with no brain and no knowledge of anything at all as the Aliens watched on the bloke sang,





    "WALTZING MATILDA, WALTZING MATILDA......"


    Back at Ya, lol's.
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    XiSTNZ
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    Re: HUMOR OF THE DAY

    Post  XiSTNZ on Mon Jan 30, 2012 5:36 am

    Just asking but isnt that a good thing that you dont need a brain to sing one of our iconic songs?? it means that it is so well known, and so strong that it has being sown into the very instincts/soul of the person??
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    Re: HUMOR OF THE DAY

    Post  iSenior on Mon Jan 30, 2012 6:46 am

    ahh so its NZ jokes u want aye?

    How does a New Zealander find a sheep in long grass?

    Delightful!


    clown clown clown


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    NZ_Vixon9
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    Re: HUMOR OF THE DAY

    Post  NZ_Vixon9 on Mon Jan 30, 2012 7:55 am

    OK i'll change the sublect!



    Revenge Is Sweet

    There once was an old couple who had been married for thirty years.

    Every morning the old boy would wake up and give off an enormous fart, much to his long suffering wife's annoyance.

    "You'll fart your guts out one of these days," she always complained.

    After a particularly bad week the wife decided to have her revenge and got up early, placing some turkey giblets in the bed next to the old boy's arse.

    While making breakfast downstairs she heard his usual morning fart reverberate through the floorboards followed by a scream.

    Twenty minutes later a rather shaken man came downstairs.

    "You was right all along Missus," the old man says, "I finally did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God, and these two fingers, I managed to push 'em back in!"
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    M4NGO
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    Re: HUMOR OF THE DAY

    Post  M4NGO on Mon Jan 30, 2012 8:51 am

    LMAO ^^^^
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    iSenior
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    Re: HUMOR OF THE DAY

    Post  iSenior on Mon Jan 30, 2012 11:39 am

    rofl hahaha
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    finjonz
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    Re: HUMOR OF THE DAY

    Post  finjonz on Mon Jan 30, 2012 4:05 pm

    How do you find a Level headed Aussie....................... Dribbles from both sides of his mouth!
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    NZ_Vixon9
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    Re: HUMOR OF THE DAY

    Post  NZ_Vixon9 on Sun Feb 05, 2012 6:07 am

    A Parrot swallows a Viagra table.

    His Owner, disgusted, puts him in the Freezer to cool off.

    20 Minutes later he opens the freezer, he finds the Parrot sweating.

    "How come ur sweating?" He Asks.

    The Parrot replies, "Do you know how F**king hard it is to open the legs of a frozen Chicken?"

    Dracael
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    Re: HUMOR OF THE DAY

    Post  Dracael on Sun Feb 05, 2012 10:15 am

    A man is walking on the beach when he discovers a bottle containing genie. He rubs it and a genie comes out, promises to grant him one wish. He says, "Peace in the Middle east, that's my wish." The genie looks concerned, then says "No, I'm sorry, that's just not possible. Some things just can't be changed. Do you have another wish?" The guys says 'Well...for my whole life I've never receievd oral sex from my wife. That would be my wish." The genie pauses for another moment and then says "How would you define peace?"

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    Re: HUMOR OF THE DAY

    Post  deathsbreeze on Sat Feb 11, 2012 7:06 am

    Whats brown and furry and runs up stairs backwards??

    A Corgi with a fat!!

    Whats red and skin coloured and sits in the corner screaming??

    A baby combing its hair with a potato peeler!!

    Why couldnt the cat stand up??

    Its ears were stapled to the floor!!

    Whats red and green and goes round in circles at 150km/h?

    Frog in a blender

    Whats red and bubbly and taps on the window??

    Baby in a microwave!!

    got more if u want em Laughing

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    Re: HUMOR OF THE DAY

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